The universe had an opportunity to show me a thing or two. With my own life, there is still so much healing to be done. There will be plenty of blogs to describe the various stages of my personal healing, but, overall I wasn’t doing enough deep level self work. I was just putting a quick stucco plug on issues and hoping the dam didn’t break. But for me to truly live my life purpose and to share my challenges to inspire others to heal, I needed to go deeper. It felt like it was too cold and too dark down that scary alley of self, I just kept creeping side to side like the crab sun sign I am. But the universe didn’t care if I had guilt or self negativity – it was not allowing me to create my own punishment. So I got, yet again, another bang.
The universe was going to teach me a valuable lesson through experience. This time, using one of my beloved dogs- Bean. My black -slash- brown Tigger replica, lab mix rescue. He slammed full force into my thigh by accident and put me out of commission a bit for the past few months. The pain has been unbearable, some days with no relief. I thought it was sciatic and treated incorrectly, only to annoy it more. Then found out it was quad contusion, glute sprain and hamstring sprain. Which lead to hip misalignment, then for the whopper, the sciatic area became extremely inflamed, like the fireball inferno of the devil, flaring in my tailbone area. Chronic constant blinding pain forced me to give in and take Aleve. I have a high pain tolerance so this was bad. I became irritated easily and very impatient. I bless all the people still being around me through this beotch stage. Then one day, in my self pity, I thought~ this is how addiction can start. Needing something, anything to dull the blinding pain and not getting enough. I wanted to take more Aleve at this time, more than I expected I would feel I needed. Then I stopped. I got the lesson. I heard you universe (now stop the anguish haha). I am just as human and just as vulnerable as anyone. Addiction does not discriminate. I set up lots of appointments for my healing, with natural healers, because that is where I do best. I am in the healing process, but as I tell most clients, these pains are emotional. So, this healer is starting to heal. Starting to tap into the dark spaces that just had delicate plugs, beginning to repave these walls to be stronger and sturdier. As this is my learning, and my mission to share, I will look for ways to help when people are not getting better with their healing process~ integrating my skillsets and gifts to find where the real pain is. Exposing these holistic approaches, maybe someone can have a relief or a breakthrough that will minimize the desire to add more medications. Helping people, as we should, heal from whatever is holding them back emotionally or find alternatives to help the physical pain that has been keeping them from enjoying life. I might get more inspirations on ways to help and I look forward to them. At this time, I surrender to compassion.
In other worlds, Rest in Peace my beautiful friend. I hope I can help others in your memory. xo
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Donna – This post was beautiful and raw. Losing a friend or loved one to addiction, be it an accidental or intentional overdose, is truly tragic and throws you into a hurricane of emotion and confusion. We feel guilty, resentful, mad, upset, and every other conflicting expression you can name.
As you said though, addiction can overcome the best of us. It is up to us to find ways of healing our minds and our bodies through whatever resources are available to us. This could be intensive self work, support from family and friends, rehabilitation with health professionals and different coaches or specialists alike, or a combination of all.
Healing is very complex process and never truly stops. It is a constant cycle of rises and falls in your physical, psychological, and even spiritual form that you need to actively tune into to live.
I love this post, and I’m very thankful for meeting a healer who isn’t afraid to be real, vulnerable, and constantly working on herself so she can be present for herself and the people around her: that’s you!
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New Kids on the Block is my favourite band of 90s. They had so many hits! The ones I remember are ‘Tonight’, ‘Baby, I Believe In You’ and, of course their hit ‘Step By Step’. These are real masterpieces, not fake like today! And it is awesome they have a tour in 2019! So I’m going to attend their concert in 2019. The full list is here: New Kids on the Block tour Hershey. Click on it and maybe we can even visit one of the concerts together!
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